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  1. #1
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Lake Hartwell and I-85

    Retirement Choices

    Retirement Choices. . .





    You can retire to 'Phoenix', Arizona where...


    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.


    2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.


    3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.


    4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.


    5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.


    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME!




    OR. . .



    You can retire to 'California' where . . .

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

    2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

    3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

    4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

    5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.



    OR. . .



    You can retire to 'New York City' where . . .

    1. You say "The City" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .

    2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    3. You think Central Park is "nature."

    4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi- lingual.

    5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note if you have a car).

    6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.



    OR



    You can retire to 'Wisconsin' where . . .

    1. You only have four spices: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco .

    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

    3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.

    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

    5. The four seasons are: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.



    OR. . .



    You can retire to the'Deep South' where. . .

    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

    2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

    3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.

    4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, Ina Dale, etc.

    5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.

    OR. . .




    You can retire to 'Colorado' where. . .

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain
    bike atop your $500 car.


    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.

    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



    OR. . .



    You can retire to the 'Midwest' where. . .


    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.


    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.


    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.


    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"


    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" OR. . .




    FINALLY you can retire to 'Florida' where. . .


    1. You eat Dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.


    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even Houses and Cars.


    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.


    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the State.


    5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by 'headless people'.



    New Rules, Can't Say...

  2. #2
    2009 Hooligan of the year
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Austin, TX

    Re: Retirement Choices

    I'll stay down south, thank you very much.

  3. #3
    Hooligan
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Haverhill, MA

    Re: Retirement Choices

    How's St. George , Utah? Might be going there.
    "It's a dog eat dog world and from where I sit there just ain't enough damn dogs."
    -Drayton Sawyer-

    '99 ZRX1100
    '05 DRZ400S
    '78 KZ1000LTD
    '12 F150 (Ford)

  4. #4
    Lil' Rascal's Froggy
    motorcitywho?

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Chattavegas Tn

    Re: Retirement Choices

    Quote Originally Posted by zrx24 View Post
    I'll stay down south, thank you very much.
    BINGO!
    ZRXOA #8282 ZRX1109 Turbo Division Member #30 December 2012 BOTM winner
    Quote Originally Posted by hydrashoks View Post
    in my efforts to continue to copy Rob....
    Quote Originally Posted by McGovZRX View Post
    You, Sir, are a bad, bad, tasteless man. Can I marry you?????

  5. #5
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Decatur,Al

    Re: Retirement Choices

    Deep South ....But that don't mean we want a a flood of damn yankees commin' in and trying to change thangs !!!!!
    #3243

    "Love people-Use things-NOT-Use people-Love things"

  6. #6
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in a van by the river

    Re: Retirement Choices

    Quote Originally Posted by ZEERX View Post
    How's St. George , Utah? Might be going there.
    One word: Mormons.

    That might be good or bad, depending on you and your values.

    True, the town has become a retirement destination for "gentiles" (as Mormons call non-Mormons) but Mormons still run the place. You can avoid them to some extent, but you can't avoid their strange liquor laws.


    Travel kills ignorance.

  7. #7
    Thread Hijacker
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Fun City so Cal. on the West Coast of our U. S. of A.

    Re: Retirement Choices

    Quote Originally Posted by zrxrob View Post

    BINGO !



  8. #8
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Melbourne, Florida....On the corner of "walk" and "Dont Walk"

    Re: Retirement Choices

    #4-Palm Bay/Melbourne Just what we need, more blue hairs
    ZRXOA #9877
    "IT'S NOT THE BIG THAT EAT THE SMALL..... IT'S THE FAST THAT EAT THE SLOW"
    2004 ZRX1200R-Silver


    Past Kawi's: 76 KZ900, 78 KZ1000, 80 Z1 Classic

    Off Brands: 74 Honda XR75, 80 Yamaha YZ250, 84 Honda 1100 Magna,
    95 Suzuki RF900R, 88 Suzuki Katana 1100
    Wish List: 74 Yamaha DT400

  9. #9
    Legal Eagle
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Tallahassee, Fl

    Re: Retirement Choices

    How do you guys even find 7 year old threads?

  10. #10
    King of Kazmania
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Kazmania

    Re: Retirement Choices



    Perserverence Ken, perserverance.




    " 'tis far better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt"
    - Someone

    "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on,
    or by imbeciles who really mean it."
    - Someone else



    SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, DO WHAT YOU SAY


  11. #11
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    causing trouble near Milton, Ontario, Canada

    Re: Retirement Choices

    you can't retire but you can visit Canada where

    We say hi to every one in town because we are not sure if we know them but we are pretty sure we should

    We need 2 different permits to buy Guns and Ammo

    Where eight guns and a thousand rounds is called an Arsenal

    You can drive for two days and still not be out of Ontario

    They finally raise the speed limit to 68 miles an hour on a road people have been going 75 plus on for years
    then they say they will study it to see if accidents increase

    Where the Canadian equivalent of a Republican is slightly to the left of Bernie Sanders
    Johnnie Phatt
    Head honcho of project
    Rise of the Phoenix

    bring Dave if you must....Perko

  12. #12
    TMZ of the ZRXOA
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Depends on who wants to know.........and why.

    Re: Retirement Choices

    If we weren't happy in AZ., I'd consider Utah.
    Speed kills..........but only the dumb and the inexperienced!

    ZRXOA Exalted Supreme Benevolent Grand Master Member #4875

    (Same as a friggin Pope) or (Gawd as it gets)


  13. #13
    CarlM
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Central California

    Re: Retirement Choices

    Quote Originally Posted by MotoBuddha View Post
    One word: Mormons.

    That might be good or bad, depending on you and your values.

    True, the town has become a retirement destination for "gentiles" (as Mormons call non-Mormons) but Mormons still run the place. You can avoid them to some extent, but you can't avoid their strange liquor laws.
    I bought the house next door to our old house from Mormons that moved to St George. The EX city director, non Mormon moved to St George.


    You can't go faster when you are in plaster
    Mongo like candy

  14. #14
    BadAss Hooligan
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    US

    Re: Retirement Choices

    good stuff

    13 places everyone will be flocking to for retirement in the 2020s http://a.msn.com/00/en-us/AAJUiME?ocid=st
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    current bike: 2000 ZRX1100


 

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